News Downdate - 5/8/2013

All right, listen up you COCKS and CUNTS.

You are now able to DONATE to the Church Website via PayPal.  That's right.  Totally legit WALLET-RAPE on your narrow ass.  Why spend your money on pot, booze and porn when you can dump it into a vacuum that'll jerk your COCK and rub your CLIT the right way?

It's really a no-boner.  Get out your Debit/Check/ATM Card, type in that 16 digit number and send the Church your GODDAMN MONEY.  We can use it for personal BULLSHIT like strap-ons for our Lady Bishops and Fleshlights for our Lord Bishops.

Seriously.  Give us your FUCKING MONEY just like you give it to Wal-Mart, Exxon-Mobile and Apple.  Every time you pay your cable or cellphone bill and don't tithe to the Church, a kitten gets hit by a runaway golf cart.




Please think of the fucking golf carts.